Do you ever feel like pulling your hair when you think of getting along with your in-laws? Here are a few quick, super-effective tips to getting them on your side now without too much work.
Things You’ll Need:
- A little bit of time.
- A little bit of patience.
- Even just a little bit of love.
Find out details about them. Sometimes, our in-laws are at a disadvantage–we don’t always see it that way, but mothers and fathers want to take care of their babies, just like we do. If you show that you care about them, they will loosen up. This will make your life dramatically easier–if you or they feel tense, this will always be on all of your minds.
Use “I” statements. This is SOOOOO important. For instance, if you’re crossing your arms and saying, “No, we can’t come over. Sorry. You just demand so much that we never feel good enough!”, you’re inviting them to get on the defensive. Get on the OFFENSIVE. Yes, those are caps. Take control-tell them what you feel, want, and need; that is, tell them what you need, not what they need to do.
Relax. Find the joys that they do and get involved. Take a few moments to discover what they like, and let them know that you care. Obviously, you do care, or you wouldn’t be reading this article right now.
Don’t tell them what they do wrong–tell them what they do right! All of us don’t get enough encouragement on a daily basis. Let them see that you recognize the good things they do and don’t focus on the bad. Start off a basic conversation when you’re going to complain with, “I like it when . . . ” and then define explicitly what you don’t like, followed by how it makes you feel. This makes your in-laws less defensive and open to compromise.